I wish they\u2019d stop talking about me as if I can\u2019t understand a word they\u2019re saying. I\u2019m right here in the same room with them.<\/p>\n
How insensitive! How insulting!<\/p>\n
\u201cShe\u2019s had a good life.\u201d \u00a0\u00a0\u201cWe\u2019ve done our part.\u201d \u00a0\u201cMaybe she\u2019s suffering more than we know.\u201d<\/p>\n
Stop it! I can\u2019t stand it. I\u2019m right here!<\/p>\n
Sure maybe I have an accident here and there. I am old. That\u2019s what old folks do on occasion. But, I\u2019m not ready to go. Not yet. I have<\/em> had a good life, mostly. And, sure they\u2019ve done their part. Taking care of me, making sure I\u2019m fed and warm at night. But, why now? Why are they so hell bent on killing me now? It is killing after all. Unless I die, say of natural causes, it\u2019s still killing. They\u2019re claiming it\u2019s \u201cmerciful\u201d for Pete\u2019s sake. How is killing me, ending my life when I don\u2019t want to die, merciful?<\/p>\n She looks at me and cries. She says, \u201cI\u2019m sorry.\u201d and \u201cI love you.\u201d Apparently she thinks I can understand some<\/em> things.<\/p>\n And him! The things he says about me. Calling me mentally challenged just because I don\u2019t do what he wants me to do. Ha! It\u2019s called passive aggressive asshole. I do what I want, when I want. I\u2019m neither mentally challenged nor demented. Far from it.<\/p>\n She took me to the doctor the other day. You\u2019d think a doctor with so much experience would know better than to talk about me when I\u2019m in the room. Seriously. I couldn\u2019t look at either one of them. I turned and faced the corner of the room. She said to the doctor, \u201cOh my God look at her, she won\u2019t look at us! Do you think she understands what we are talking about?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cNo, of course not.\u201d The doctor replied. \u201cShe\u2019s just not happy to be here.\u201d<\/p>\n I most certainly was not happy to be there while she poked and prodded me. Listening to my heart murmur and squeezing my bladder. \u201cYes I do understand you!\u201d I wanted to scream. But I didn\u2019t. I just sat with my back to them listening as they discussed the ‘situation’.<\/p>\n \u201cDo you think I\u2019m being selfish?\u201d She asked, needing validation from the doctor.<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m not judging you if that\u2019s what you mean.\u201d The doctor replied. Though I think she secretly was judging just a little. \u201cShe\u2019s definitely got issues and I understand it\u2019s difficult for you to care for her at this point. It\u2019s messy and gross at times.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cBut I mean, do you think it\u2019s time? What would you do in my situation?\u201d She persisted.<\/p>\n \u201cOnly you and your husband can decide. It\u2019s really not for me to say.\u201d The doctor replied, but I know if I were living with the good doctor\u00a0she\u2019d keep me around. I\u2019m not that<\/em> much trouble. I sleep most of the day and when I\u2019m awake you’d hardly know I\u2019m around unless I fart. The farting is more frequent, I\u2019ll admit it.<\/p>\n When we returned home, they were talking. She said, \u201cI just can\u2019t do it yet. It\u2019s not that bad. She still has some life left in her and I\u2019m not ready to say good-bye.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cOK.\u201d He said. What could he say? \u201cJust do it! Just kill her and get it over with!\u201d No he wouldn\u2019t do that. Too much blame on him. He couldn\u2019t handle the guilt. No, it has to be a joint decision.<\/p>\n So it looks like I\u2019ve got a reprieve for a while. I\u2019m trying really hard not to make any messes. I haven\u2019t peed myself for several days now. I\u2019m on a roll. The farting \u2013 well \u2013 I can\u2019t help that and they don\u2019t really seem to mind. In fact, they chuckle when I pass that smelly gas.<\/p>\n She walks by me and pats my head. \u201cOh Sadie, you silly dog. I love you. We\u2019re gonna keep you around a while longer, girl.\u201d<\/p>\n Yes, she thinks I understand some things. And I most definitely do.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" I wish they\u2019d stop talking about me as if I can\u2019t understand a word they\u2019re saying. I\u2019m right here in the same room with them. How insensitive! How insulting! \u201cShe\u2019s had a good life.\u201d \u00a0\u00a0\u201cWe\u2019ve done our part.\u201d \u00a0\u201cMaybe she\u2019s suffering more than we know.\u201d Stop it! I can\u2019t stand it. I\u2019m right here! Sure … Continue reading I’m Listening – A short Essay<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[3,2],"tags":[79,78],"class_list":["post-354","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-short-stories","category-writing","tag-euthanasia","tag-merciful-killing"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"aioseo_notices":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.trishmcgee.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/354","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.trishmcgee.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.trishmcgee.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.trishmcgee.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.trishmcgee.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=354"}],"version-history":[{"count":6,"href":"https:\/\/www.trishmcgee.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/354\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":360,"href":"https:\/\/www.trishmcgee.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/354\/revisions\/360"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.trishmcgee.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=354"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.trishmcgee.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=354"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.trishmcgee.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=354"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}